Every negative quality is a distortion from something Divine.
For instance, the need to be perfect, which cripples people, causes them to try to impress others, which means on a feeling level one wishes to be above others and even deceive others to think one is more than this person believes they are… This need to be perfect actually comes from the Divine knowing that at our highest levels we ARE perfect in God.
But because we have fallen, we are on the long term trajectory to get back to these heavenly states, whether our soul realizes it or not. So we try to control our image by holding back on creating and giving, which violates the spiritual law of brotherhood.
This combines with the need to be special. In its distorted form, we wish to impress others and be better then them. Some get so upset at the idea of not being special - even having an emotional breakdown at the idea that some flaw in them might mean they lack some special quality. In this distorted form, people become jealous and envious, which in my experience is one of the most dangerous states of being, especially combined with a weak value system.
In it’s Divine form - we are special - except not over each other. We are simply unique. We have different skills, talents and gifts we are meant to bring to the world and share with each other. It really is that simple.
So this need to be special when distorted and negative, comes from the Divine knowing that we ARE special. Its just misunderstood and due to the nature of reality, when inverted, it can go to some extremely dark places. This is where the narcissistic mindset comes from, which is of course a spectrum… But I’m not talking about the lower level or narcissism which most of have in one form or another, especially before lengthy inner work…
The narcissistic personality lives in a delusion - and while they may have an extremely loving and beautiful side to their personality - once a relationship begins, it’s a ticking time bomb, due to the intensely jealous, mean, tyrannical and deceptive thoughts they have when others shine.
This leads them to make insane plans and separate people from everyone else through massive lies and smear campaigns that so many people eagerly believe and lap up because they just can’t believe someone would make up such horrendous lies about people - but I’ve experienced it first hand. I also believed the lies about others before they were targeting me, so I understand why others have believed such awful lies about me, which if you know is is ironic because I am incredibly kind, Loving and non judgemental.
But I digress!
So what could the Divine nature of narcissism be?
I believe the first two entwined points I covered are involved - being perfect and special.
Perhaps also their need to control everything, which ultimately in the end, is a catastrophic disaster for them because their plans are purile and the truth always comes to light… Perhaps this comes from The Divine knowing that we DO control our reality in a way.
In our highest states, while we can’t control what happens specifically, we can control the quality of the outcomes when we follow Divine Law. Divine Law lives naturally in our soul. This is why somatic energy healing and faith based prayer works so powerfully - because as we release fear and hate - Love naturally fills up our system.
This Love is not just a feeling. It is an intelligence. It thinks, and it thinks through you.
You become infinitely more intelligent when you release your fear, hate, blame, shame, hate, bitterness and pain. All which the narcissist has in epic amounts. But guess what? The self proclaimed empath and people pleaser has plenty of these qualities too - its just flipped. They are different sides of the same coin.
The narcissist pushes everything out onto others and becomes ultimately blameless. In their reality nothing can ever be their fault. And why? Because any flaw would diminish their worth in their eyes and this is so painful because they have the deepest shame stuck in their systems.
So any chink in the fragile armor of their delusional defense against the World - anything that shows them they aren’t the best and most important is like a death to them. So they project every nasty thought and problem onto others.
Due to the rottennous parts of their soul they hide but deep down know is there, they imagine everyone must be so rotten. So when they see someone shine, they need to take them down a peg or two. The more they Love someone the more it turns into bitter resentment and hate. They may even straight up hate someone, but it’s because there is a root of Love, envy and jealousy. This shines the Light on their lack of Love, charisma and whatever else it is they seek - and they spiral out in their hateful shame. They attack. They lie. They even seek to destroy.
When they try to destroy someone with a highly Loving nature, who doesnt actually feel vengeful - and especially those involved in faith based prayer to God and Jesus - even to The Divine and Infinite Intelligence - then their attacks literally bounce off this spiritually elevated person and back onto themselves.
Reality is designed to burn out evil.
When someone is truly Loving and not just pretending and hiding their hate and vengeful feelings from themselves deep down - they become impenetrable. They recover quickly from energy leaks aka they learn their lessons from their mistakes - and the attacks that would and have harmed others, just don’t harm these people with active Love in their hearts and motives.
So now for the empath and people pleaser.
These people were taught they have to manage the world.
They took their families moods very personally, making everything about themselves. If the mother was upset, then the child is sure its about her. The child does everything to change who they are and hide how they feel to make their parents and the people happy…
So this creates a false reality - another delusion.
And this person becomes manipulative, without realizing it - always feeling like the victim because in their minds, they are doing everything to make the other happy, yet bad things keep happening to them. People keep letting them down. They lie to them, string them along, use them - and its never the empath’s fault.
Except it is, in a way.
In one way, what the other person does IS on them - but this is the expanded way of thinking - every spiritual truth has its seeming opposite that is also equally true. Black and white thinking is a more immature state of mind view and one we must all grow through.
So this paradox is that yes, while it is on the other person - we also draw out certain behaviours from a person due to our own energy and belief system.
A person who doesn’t have this wounding won’t be affected by your own wounded paradigm. But someone with matching issues, which may be the same, similar or completely opposite - will react and be drawn into your drama play to act out this scene within you.
On a spiritual level, this is the medicine that eventually leads you to see that your way isn’t working, so you’ll be able to change it. But it can take a lot of repetitions and even lifetimes to change it and see. Fortunately my work, without exaggeration, speeds up the process - so what can take a person decades or lifetimes can be accomplished within years or a decade.
How is the empath people please the flip side of the narcissist? As I said above the narcissist projects all of their issues out onto others - the empath pulls everyone elses issues in, onto themselves.
Making it mean every bad mood in another is about them. If their partner is in a bad mood, it shakes the empath, and this draws out their pain and insecurity and they get in a bad mood too.
The manipulation I mentioned above lives in the fact that the empath people please will crush their own boundaries and desires - and change their personality to please another. They believe they are being loving by saying yes when they really don’t to.
But what they’re actually doing on an unconscious level? They’re hoping that if they act a certain way and seem so giving, or just pathetic, that the other person will see how good or needy they are, so will change their ways and do what the people pleaser wants them to do.
They give, not to give. But as a covert negotiation.
This is deception.
This is also why they feel like they constantly give and never give back. They believe everyone else must be just like them.
They say things like, “But they SHOULD do abc” and “How could they/WHY would they do this?!” Absolutely staggered in disbelief that someone doesn’t automatically see life the same way they do. But people are people. We all have vastly different belief systems that come from experiences, and are locked in by memories, triggers AND through our higher selves and the positive lessons we have learned.
The empath people pleaser can not accept that others think differently. They continue to sacrifice themselves in the hope that the other will see their goodness and meet their needs. They often even think it’s not special or good enough if they have to tell another what they want. This is just a trauma response and ultimate immaturity.
I have zero judgement. In fact, I’ve experienced all of this personally in my own life. Both empath people pleasing and narcissism. Somehow I adopted both into my personality, which I got to heal.
The narcissistic side was stamped out pretty quickly due to my extremist ways, where I completely destroyed my life and many others around 20 and 21 years of age. At 22 I had my first spiritual epiphany and went on a journey of radical honesty and morality.
I often say this was the start of my spiritual journey - but that’s not true. I was spiritual before when I was practicing intuitive black magic witchcraft and hurting people - I was just so unconscious and unaware of consequences. So the positive part of my spiritual journey started at 22, which led me on a journey through Buddhism. By that time I already understood that we were all made of one.
I had grown up an atheist with a strong hatred of Christianity.
Looking back, I now see I chose to be born into that life so I could find God on my own. Now I follow the teachings of Jesus and believe in a lot of Christianity - but I still see so many errors and black and white thinking.
After Buddhism, I eventually got into new age, but very quickly I learned that it wasn’t the truth. It was incomplete and people were brainwashed into thinking you just shine bright and nothing can hurt you.
But no. The spirit World is real. The hyperdimensional entities that exist in the spirit World feed on our fear - its called Loosh - they can put thoughts in our heads and manipulate us. But so many people deny this and just think they can be positive enough.
But we are so deeply complex, we need to be doing our inner work to connect with our pain and our shadow. If we ignore our hateful, insecure parts - guess what?
They grow stronger. This is where projecting and judgement comes in.
If you have have strong judgement of others, its because there is something in them you are doing or feeling the same or similar, but you aren’t willing to look at it. You hate it. So you lash out and put it all on the other.
When you integrate the shadow, you make friends with the negative - which is a personality within you - it then changes its beliefs and its mood and becomes a positive part of yourself.
You then stop judging others.
This does not mean you just let them in your life.
If someone betrays you, or shows they are of weak character, then you keep them out of your life - you simply understand that they are human, and like you have flaws and issues - so rather than judging negatively - you feel actual compassion, understanding and neutrality - but you also feel firm with NO pulled heart strings.
You don’t allow that in your life, so you have compassion from afar. It’s that simple. And so freeing once you get to this place spiritually and emotionally speaking.
So this was a long winded way to say that in every negative trait their is a Divine kernel. Something that has been distorted and inverted. But it will eventually burn itself out, as it doesn’t work with Divine Law. One day it will crumble and collapse - then you’ll see how it didn’t work and the pain you feel will encourage you tor each towards the light, to the truth, to another way of doing things.
We also discussed the paradox of life.
This is the oneness mindset, which is the opposite of dualistic thinking.
You’ll see alot of people teaching that you need to have a duality mindset. And many of them have truth in their teachings, but what they mean is that you need to be able to SEE the duality in life, and that nothing is black and white. You see the oneness of life. So through my experienced thinking, I believe this is a oneness mindset.
Know that everything can be healed and changed - it will just take a lot longer than you want. The less you struggle against that, the easier it is to heal. The more you realize where you are now is where you’re meant to be, the easier where you are becomes.
The less you try to get somewhere else to make life better (whether it be a new city, or a new state of mind or appearance), and the more you try to make what you have here NOW good and gradually perfect - the better your life will get.
These are the key things it’s taken me 20 years to learn, since I was 22 - but more if you count the negative reckless experiences I had to go through before that, that led to the series of spiritual epiphanies and spiritual awakenings that moved me forward on my path.
So before moving on with your day, please take a moment to ask yourself, what did you get out of this teaching? Where on the spectrum of narcissism and people pleasing are you? Can you give yourself grace and understanding?
Can you trust that whatever is happening in your life, you will find a way through? If you’re a changemaker here on Earth with a purpose then let me know if you want 1:1 help to transform on greater levels then a person could ever do alone.
And remember, look at everything in your life as shades. Dualistic thinking means we say if this one thing is good, then the other thing is bad. But this just isn’t how it works.
I’m Kai Clifford, your Spiritual Guide and Energy Alchemist.
Please let me know your thoughts, highlights and any questions you might have.
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